Train

I missed taking 3 levels of steps to reach the terminal
I missed buying a stored value ticket worth a hundred bucks
I missed inserting the card in the counter
I missed the moments I had with other people while waiting a the platform
I missed rushing to the train when it arrives
I missed the silent times listening to music while looking somewhere else
I missed the moments I remember passing by at every station
The so called Vito Cruz
I missed the rush of people to the door when they arrive at their destinations
I missed EDSA
I missed banana cue merienda times with friends
I missed the crying moments I had at UN
I missed the moments being alone thinking deeply
I missed the life that I had while taking the LRT every afternoon

I almost missed my old self, but this is a start of a new me
A new me that is driven not by selfish thoughts but by God
A new girl that has the strength coming from the Spirit
That will survive every wave of disaster that will come

떠나가

떠나가 (Leave)
G-Dragon's line from Big Bang's famous song "Haru Haru" / "Day by Day" (하루하루)


Leave, my selfish thoughts inside my mind
I know I have let go of you for long
Now it's coming back again
From the whispers I hear behind

Leave, go away
I did not desire to have this thing going around me
I've hidden this silently, deeply
Watching every line that comes from this lip

Leave, well I should leave
I will be the one who will commit the mistake
I will not be spilling out one line to you

Here it is, another set of lines to be shared, to end up a Friday night.

LEAVING A NOTE BEFORE SEMBREAK

my first tagalog entry

una palang alam ko na
nang sinabi mo hindi pwede nga
tinatak ko sa isipang ito
hindi maaring burahin ng isang pagkakamali ko

pinanindigan ko ang salita mo
alam ko hindi talaga pwede ito
ayokong lumagpas sa linyang nakapagitan sa atin
mahirap man pigilin

bawat araw na lang napapaisip
kung tama nga ba ang mga nasa panaginip
kailangan ko pa bang humithit
upang 'di maibalik ang hirit

tigilan ko na ba ang kahibangan?
mas katanggap tangap kung mananatili ang pagkakaibigan
nais kong makita ang mga pangyayaring masaya
mas mabuti ngang ganito sa kanya

nabulabog ako ng mga katanungan ng mga tao sa paligid
kahit isigaw pa ng damdamin
nananatili pa ring "hindi pwede!"
papanindigan ko pa rin ang salitang "hindi pwede!"

ilang beses na ako nagkamali
ayoko nang maulit pa, maling pagpili
desisyon ko'y ganito
nagmamatigas ang isipan ko

ngayon pa lang ay nakikita ko
pagkakamali ang pakiramdam na ito
hindi talaga maaring maituloy pa
kahit hanggang ilang beses pang pigilan


well I have to release my thoughts, I know only one will know. I really have to keep this within myself.

-tamtamz-

A Meditation

It has been a year and a couple of months since we did not see each other. I tried for many times different ways to forget you, after those i really did erase you in my mind for not knowing how. Then months passed I did not think of you, never did I directed my attention to everything that reminded me of you, from train stations, voices, semblance with people and your favorite stuff that I know...but here I go again creating an illusion of you in my eyes and mind. I know the events that happened between us embarrassed you, or even worse than what I've said. Here's what I can say..

"IF YOU REALLY DO FORGOT THOSE THINGS BETWEEN US COULD YOU PLEASE BE POSITIVE WITH YOUR LIFE! I MEAN, OPEN YOURSELF AGAIN TO [ME]. I WILL NOT BE PARTICULAR, LET'S BE FRIENDS AGAIN, LITERALLY OR TECHNICALLY BECAUSE IT SEEMS YOU'RE STILL TAKING ME AS A NEGATIVE PERSON YOU'LL HIDE FROM. CAN WE START OVER AGAIN?"

I just release whatever I had inside. I meditated, forgetting you, letting you go again, and I'll do this for millions of times just to keep myself calm without you.

back to blogging for sometime

-supposed to be doing HOA-

-guitarstringsandbrokenwings-
-탐탐-

It should be this way..

It should turn up like this
I should view things in this perspective..

but not now...

we're so far away from each other
hoping you'll come back
I do not know if my heart still beats for you...
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

hmmmm.....wat do yah think???
I drew an image of hanamichi sakuragi hahaha....
It was just for fun, I did not even know it was already 1 am when I finished it today.

Please don't think of anything about this drawing...wahahaha!!!
:D
-guitarstringsandbrokenwings-

My wings?? No, your wings fell down...

Why do you keep hiding yourself?
You keep glancing away from the things that remind
You of me you never stop blocking connections from me
You always make ways not meeting me
You stopped everything.... you even stopped living your life

Would these be my last lines?? Hell yeah my last!

I need not to worry for you are not my loss
You made me your loss!
I know you'll be getting one sometime
But I will be the best you never had
You should have grabbed hold of me.... but you didn't!

Back to blogging....

whoa...I've been gone for a couple of months...and now I'm back this summer vacation School year's just over.....no more sleepless nights, no more tiring days and most of all no more plates! [but I'm currently thinking of what plates I will be doing next] I'll have plate-making this summer for a sort of a practice as well as an enjoyable activity.

Back with the BARKADA......waaa RAMECTANS bonding again.....we just had our sleepover last friday....actually a Good Friday[which I shouldn't be going somewhere else] Fun! Fun! Fun! Fun- that's what I can say....we had photoshoots, sharings, "kaen mode", chat and webcam with our former classmate, facebook....hell yeah we did those things together

SM Molino.....and unexpected photoshoot Five of the RAMECTANS members bought groceries for our friend's mom's surprise birthday party....after having a tiring shopping mode with them.... we chose the sm stage to be our photoshoot setting....waaaa we were shy then...but we did not mind other people looking at us while we were shooting. we took good pictures....others were fail but at the end those pictures really made our day and again...it was really FUN! FUN! FUN!

PHOTOSHOOT with TEAR

T - Tam
E - Erika
A - Arni
R - Romeo

well another very very good unexpected photoshoot after the surprise birthday parteyh the four of us went to a field at around 4 pm. The place really had a good lighting of the sunset.....soooo we took pictures again......we tried different solo poses of ourselves [hahaha we felt like models :))]

FUN! yeah FUN!
This really made my Easter Sunday..:))

back to blogging....I hope I'll post more blogs...:D

.i do not care about you now. it is you who makes things worse you're still the one bitter of me. if you continue doing your thing you're hurting yourself. Live a life man!


-tamtamz-